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Do you believe that you and your partner “honor[ed] God with your bodies” in doing what you did (1 Corinthians )?Whatever you did, did that interaction reflect of sexual immorality in what you did (Ephesians 5:3-5)?It might have been last night or last week or last year or back in high school or college.Would you describe whatever you did as “holy and honorable,” or was it done to satisfy the “passionate lust” of you or your partner or both (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5)?Still, the overwhelming majority of believers will only share that relationship with one person in their entire lives.How are we to relate to everyone else (especially believers), and how does that question inform the topic of premarital sexual activity?
We need to address the whole spectrum (“just kissing” included). First, the fact that “romantically oriented” is in italics above is important.
Some translations render the word “wrong” as “defraud.” To defraud someone is to deceive that person — in this context, to imply a commitment that does not exist by committing acts with someone that are appropriate only in the context of a particular relationship (i.e., marriage) to satisfy my own “passionate lust.” To commit sexual immorality with and against someone, far from showing the “love” to which Scripture calls all believers, is to act like those “who do not know God,” and this passage calls such acts “sin.” Now, one obvious counterargument to the point I intend to make is that the Scriptures I’ve cited above just beg the question of what behaviors violate those passages.
The argument might run thus: “Of course I want to love to others. I just think I can show genuine affection (short of intercourse) with someone I clearly care about and still obey those passages.” Fair enough. Let’s say for the sake of argument that it is theoretically possible to engage in extramarital romantically oriented physical activity Think about the times you have engaged in any type of romantically oriented physical activity with someone not your spouse.
It is certainly true that no passage of Scripture says — in so many words, at least — “thou shalt not kiss before marriage.” Having said that, I submit that there is a strong argument to be made from Scripture that there is sexual relationship outside of marriage.
The argument becomes clearer when we look at some of what the Bible has to say about 1) sex, 2) our relationships with other believers and 3) sexual immorality itself.
The simple answer is that every believer to whom I am not married is my brother or sister in Christ, and I am to act accordingly. Honor one another above yourselves.”); Romans 13:8-14, especially vv. Love does no harm to its neighbor.”); 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, especially v. More specifically, 1 Timothy 5:1-2 reiterates the “family” metaphor among believers and instructs us about how we are to treat our fellow members of the body of Christ: This is a didactic (teaching) passage generally instructing us about how to relate to other “family members” among God’s people. With the exception of husbands and wives, there is “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; .