Dating father issues
We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
For a while now, I’ve wanted to post a photo of my parents and title the blog post “A Photo of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated.” I’m not sure about that exact approach, but I’m definitely going to write a post about dating versions of our parents soon because it’s one of those things where once you make the connection, your life changes.
If you have a dad who is present, celebrate him today and if you don’t have a dad, father yourself by making the promise that you’re not going to be at the end of your life years from now saying “I see it all so clearly now and I can’t go back in time. ”You’re never going to be at the end of your life one day, wishing that you got hurt and devalued more.
You’re never going to wish that you kept putting yourself in the emotional line of fire.
He was never abusive and we have incredible memories together. You never feel like it’s the “right” relationship unless you’re feeling insecure and like you have something to “chase after” and “prove.” You gravitate toward relationships that “keep you on your toes,” instead of relationships that are mutual, meaningful, and genuinely connected.(I’ve had/embodied every one of these at one time or another in my life)My parents got divorced when I was very young and the time that I was able to spend with my Father was subsequently minimized.
I have a Dad who was consistently present growing up. When it comes to girls with daddy issues…You subconsciously attract (and are attracted to) men that highlight any unresolved issues that you have in both the relationship lack thereof, with your Father or a significant male figure from your childhood. It creates an illusory feeling of comfort due to the familiarity but also, it creates a perpetual underlying feeling of dis-ease in your relationships.With dads who are emotionally unavailable, the daughter convinces herself that if she does/is good enough, she’ll get Dad to stay/validate/love her/notice her, etc.This then sets her up with a lifetime, VIP pass for riding the toxic relationship ferris wheel.And I failed to let people own their own behavior and decisions because I couldn’t own my own.My consistent pattern of being involved with emotionally unavailable and narcissistic men came from patterns that were ingrained as a child.
It allows her to justify making excuses, ignoring red flags, and giving multiple chances to partners who did not deserve one.