Meeting people through online dating sites
“It’s no different than if you meet someone on the street.
The same rules apply,” said Steven C., a yoga instructor who met his partner on [email protected] (a dating site that’s no longer active) 15 years ago.
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“Online dating doesn’t change my taste, or how I behave on a first date, or if I will be a good partner.
It only changes the process of discovery,” says Mehr in Dan Slater’s new book “Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating.” It’s the efficiency of this “process of discovery” that’s appealing to many daters.
“I guess maybe the promise of online dating is that it allows you to get out and have those experiences and make those mistakes and hopefully learn a lot from them,” said Slater. is to get [them] out there and get them to socialize.” Sure, you might encounter some horrific experiences — but hopefully you’ll learn from them and those lessons will benefit your search for a partner in the long run.“Even if I had married someone that I had met through a friend or whatever, online dating still would have been fun,” said Feifer.
Experts say online dating sites see a huge traffic increase between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.
But despite these numbers, it’s unclear if online dating is any more effective than, or really any different from, meeting someone offline.
In many ways, online dating resembles offline dating — the resulting relationships are no different. So why do so many millions turn to the Web to find love?
The majority of the surveys, studies, and reports evaluating online dating sites’ efficacy are paid for by the companies themselves, leading to some possibility for biased results.
Plus, many big sites have been hesitant to allow independent researchers to look at their matching algorithms in depth. Of the 13 online daters I talked to for this article, only one believes algorithms can make successful matches. “I don’t believe that an algorithm can match me up, and I don’t want to match me up,” said Jason Feifer.
“[Sites like] Ok Cupid give people a mechanism to combat the anxiety of being single,” said Ana B., 24, of New York City.