Short fat girl dating
After Mike, I tried to force it with a guy named Forrest. Caring, funny, talented, gentle, heartfelt, playful, passionate. Our friendship began that summer and stayed strong.
I regularly dreamed of telling him how I felt, but I was too self-conscious and nervous.
He also admitted that he didn’t return my feelings. Now I realize that refusing to address my feelings was already my answer. With Mike, I was too self-conscious to know my worth.
With Forrest, I was too desperate to understand his subtle rejection. I didn’t pursue a romantic relationship for nearly two years. Yet heartbreak was what I needed to build the foundation of my self-esteem. Heartbreak, starting college and becoming vegan helped me grow in confidence over the last two years.
I was afraid of getting hurt if he wasn’t actually interested in me. Being open and honest with myself, let alone anybody else, was terrifying. I can only remember through the eyes of an obese, insecure teen girl.
Though it would be interesting to know for certain, I’m glad I never clarified my relationship with Mike.
I rationalized that he talked to me because he enjoyed poking fun at me.
I couldn’t understand why dating an overweight girl like me would interest anybody.
I was waiting for him to tell me I wasn’t good enough, the way I told myself that every day. If you start a relationship when you don’t love yourself, you’ll have many hardships along the way. My peers were starting to have relationships as young as 12. In my experience, it’s better to let love come naturally.
Loving yourself is the first step to finding somebody else to love you. I imagined myself walking up to him and telling him how I felt, though I never turned those dreams into reality. I had a handful of crushes in the past, but I was going to encounter a beast I had no clue how to handle: a potential crush on .
Forget everyone else for a moment and truly focus on yourself. Like a typical elementary-age child, I never worked up the courage to tell him my feelings.
You need to be able to love, forgive and trust yourself before you can consider giving them to another person.
If you don’t know how to give yourself love, you’ll be clueless how to give it to anybody else. Rob’s ambition, smarts and dedication intimidated me.
They weren’t serious relationships, but I was still jealous. Even after goofy Mike literally asked me on a date, I didn’t take him seriously. We acted together in a summer theatre program called Second Stage.