White man dating a black woman
Black people have constant streams of evidence to prove to white people that they’ve been bullshitting themselves about racism all their lives and they don’t like it. We have been together for nine years, during which the national conversation around race changed dramatically in this country.
It was mildly fascinating because so much of it was group speak that would disintegrate as soon as any autonomy, individuality, or discussion about resources and policing was introduced.
They’ll say color doesn’t matter then talk about how inconvenient it is to find “Black” xmas decorations or how cute the skin on our interracial babies would be.
They will find any and every reason to justify their monsters, like the murderous police, the constant liars, the mass murderers, and the multitude of sexual abusers and rapists.
It meant understanding that his foundational beliefs are wrong, and he had a responsibility to accept and fight against them. For a few years, in the spirit of compromise, I tolerated the racism of his friends and family but the murders of Alton Sterling and Philandro Castille and their subsequent silence until they found some anti-Black, trash panda parroting white supremacist justifications for the murders of Black people that I lost my shit and told them to fuck off. And, because they are cowards, they tried some passive aggressive work-arounds, like sending me gifts that would force me to acknowledge them by either accepting them or sending them back. I have no idea what happened to them and I don’t give a fuck. Even when his mom was hospitalized for unknown reasons, I told my S. that I would support him from home, but I refused to travel with him to see them.
I seriously wondered if our marriage would survive that incident; he was hurt by my actions, but I can’t trust him to protect me from his family and I refuse to make myself vulnerable to them.
I’m never surprised by white people ducking out on racism conversations.